"“Today, President Obama spoke at the G-20 global economic summit in Pittsburgh. He warned that if the world economy does not get better, next year’s summit will..."
"Well, this terror stuff is back in the news. Earlier today, the feds issued a new terror alert. They said terrorists are looking at hitting successful entertain..."
"And Libyan leader Moammar Qaddafi-duck, this moron, was at the U.N. today. He talked forever. He talked on Israel and the swine flu and the J.F.K. assassination..."
"And today is the 158th anniversary of The New York Times. Sad thing is, I read about that online. 今天是纽约时报创办158周年纪念日，可惜我是从网上读到的这个消息。 And doctors are still arguin..."
"“President Obama giving a lot of very important speeches. He gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them ..."
"Labor Day is the great American holiday where we honor American workers by going out and buying products made in China. 劳动节，是劳动者的节日，我们通过购买中国制造的东西来纪念这一天。 Earlier..."
"People are always saying to me, “Well, Dave, are you worried about health care?” No, I’m not worried about health care and I’ll tell you why; because I’m with C..."
"“Governor Schwarzenegger is trying to reduce California’s deficit by auctioning off state holdings that he says are no longer needed. So check out the auction i..."
"“Over the past week, congressmen have been holding town hall meetings across the country. They’ve been disrupted by angry protesters who are against Obama’s new..."
"“President Obama’s awarding the Presidential Medal of Freedom to Stephen Hawking. Not for his work in physics; just for being the voice that inspired Kanye West..."
"“Today, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said she sees no need for a House resolution in praise of Michael Jackson. Pelosi added, ‘Isn’t it enough that I’m slowly sta..."
"“President Obama is in Russia. And we know this because Sarah Palin says she can see him from her house.” – David Letterman 奥巴马在俄罗斯访问，我们获悉这个消息是因为佩林从家里看到了他。 “It’..."
"Craig Ferguson Did you hear about Mark Sanford, the governor of South Carolina? He mysteriously disappeared last week and nobody knew where he was. Today, Sanfo..."
"Conan O'Brien More unrest in Iran as the government continues to crack down on protesters. And to disperse crowds, Iranian police used tear gas, water cannons..."
"Conan O’Brien The bad economy is affecting the numbers of available jobs. So, many new college graduates are choosing to spend a year volunteering at a nonprofi..."
"Jimmy Fallon John McCain said on his Twitter feed, on Monday, that he’s buying a brand new Ford Fusion hybrid. A year ago, McCain didn’t use a computer. Now he’..."
"Jimmy Fallon Well, the results from Iran’s presidential elections are in. And Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has declared victory. But his opponent, Mir Hussein Moussavi, ..."
